What I Have Been Up To (Slacking)

I forgot my password!

So I turned 30 6 months ago and I realised I cannot remember things like my passwords to all sorts of accounts, I cannot remember if I fed my cat (and that greedy boy likes to scam me all the damn time by going all MOM IT’S THAT TIME AGAIN! TIME TO FEED MEEEEE) and I always now think Fridays are Saturdays. I however still think we should all work four days a week. Or three and a half. Or two. Okay fine. Two.

So of course me being me.

I think leading up to my 30th birthday I was obsessed with trying to make the right decisions about every single damn thing in my life. I thought there shouldn’t be any excuse to slack. I thought I should have goals and develop a system to achieve those goals. Beyonce (how do I place an accent on the e?) has 24 hours. I have 24 hours too, and minus 350 million dollars. I should do things that bring significance to my life. Things like maybe put out an album. Although I can’t sing with piano.

And now. At 30.5 years old..  I am taking a time-out.

Time out!!!


Go awayyy!

So I have just been slacking. I go to work and do the bare minimum. And then I go home and just put Netflix on without watching.

Until I discovered this thing called RuPaul’s Drag Race.

If you’re one of those people on my Instagram checking out things I’ve double-tapped you would notice I have been liking drag queen photos.

I used to watch Candidly Nicole years ago and had already seen this:

And then I watched Skin Wars. But I have never pushed play on Drag Race.

So it was accidental. At first! After two episodes it was no longer accidental. It was a choice.

So I really like Drag Race. And I like looking at Sasha Velour’s Instagram

Go check it out..

Now sashay… away..

Why I Don’t Like Hanging Out with People Now

I have to go get ready in just a bit so I thought I’d blog something before scooting off. Barely five minutes ago I was on the crapper and my mind wandered to a thought of this person I used to know and talk to all the time and she had since moved to Europe.

I grew up in a Malay household (I have to add ‘very Muslim’; I went for religious classes almost every day: 3 or 4 days were for Quran recitation and 1 was for learning the Islamic principles). I wouldn’t say I was or am religious but my parents made me go for all those classes. I enjoyed them.

I went to a local primary school, which had about 50 other Malay kids in my grade, and I was friends with maybe 3 girls. One of the girls’ parents and I still bump into one another from time to time, and we always exchange pleasantries and news. The rest of the Malay students I never really cared for and I could safely say they saw me as ‘weird’ or ‘quirky’.

Somewhere around May 2013, the Malay classmates from primary school had a reunion of sorts
(but it wasn’t a single event), and being naturally curious I turned up to all those gatherings. They had like 3 or 4 of those. I attended all.

I am sometimes easygoing. Easygoing meaning I don’t rant about work (which I think about, and am at, all the time) and I don’t think about whether I would be uncomfortable being seen hanging out with particular people (uneducated, Malay speaking, crass jokes sorta people).

Anyway to cut an unimportant story shorter, through my interactions with them I didn’t feel at ease because everyone was always talking about another person/other people behind their backs. We had a WhatsApp chat group with thousands of texts going back and forth each day. I can’t remember the topics because I would participate only when I was available, and sometimes I could not really follow. And I’m a smart person if I could say so myself.

Some of the things I didn’t like about people:

The One-Upper

That sort of person who would one-up anyone. If you had to care for a sick cat, they had 2 sick cats plus an old hamster somewhere to care for. If you broke up with your boyfriend and were feeling a bit upset, you’d never understand the one time they were a passenger in their boyfriend’s car around Singapore, got kicked out of the vehicle, got dumped, and then ended up in jail the entire weekend. You have $20,000 debt, they have $50,000 debt. Their stories might not  necessarily be true or even realistic, but trust them, they have had it worse.

The Screen-Shotters

I do this a lot with my friends. I see something I don’t like, or find hilarious and take a screenshot and then send to a friend and then we laugh at how mean we are. However, I don’t think I’ve ever taken a screenshot of what someone else has said about someone and then purposely sent it to the let’s say.. a victim.. (the person being talked about). It happened a lot and there were times I reacted negatively, and got all gangsta and “call me call me i’ll show you something to talk and screenshot about!!”. I have moved past this stage I don’t generally care about these things anymore and I refuse to join any group chats. Unless they’re about exercise or we’re related by blood.

Appearing Interesting or Successful

I have a friend who is currently experiencing some form of quarter-life crisis, and he is experiencing it in his early 30s. I experienced this crisis around the time I turned 19, and from ages 19 to 24 I went back and forth thinking about offing myself. These kinds of reunions aren’t good for certain people, because we blossom at different stages in life. In 2013 I was gonna turn 26, and I had not achieved any success in my professional nor personal life. I had nothing to show those people I went to school with 20 years ago. Because I am generally a straightforward person I didn’t really bother putting up appearances. If we were gonna walk to the coffee shop for Indian I would be in my jammies and tousled hair. I’d wear shorts to smoke with them. I generally didn’t talk about money. And then the people who kept up appearances ended up looking like frauds because people are mean. They will pull you off layer by layer and see you for who you are. Not because they care and want to know or understand your core, but because they have nothing better to do with their time, so they will mess with your life.

It was exhausting. But this is the Malay life.

I got sick of the whole charade, got out of the group chat, went back in a few days, got back out, deleted some people, and moved on by being wise about selecting who I would want to associate with. The Malayness of it all creeped me out, but I learnt some important lessons and chief of those is to not hang out with people I don’t like. Hehehe.

OK vamos baby I have to go.

Pearls of Wisdom (Kata-Kata Mutiara)

Even though I may come across as an idiot at times, there are other times I give sage advice to my friends. Times I call ‘Moments of Epiphany’ and ‘Non-idiot’.

Recently, a person I would call a friend was facing challenges at work. One of the chief complaints was the fact that his superior at work completely messed up his work review and bluntly admitted that the review was not submitted to Human Resources on time. The review was critical in determining his merit increment.

I hold the opinion that three things wentwrong here:

1) Superior did not submit documents by stipulated timeframe (this itself was whatthefuck)

2) Human Resources did not follow up with superior in question (another what the fuck)

3) My friend waited too long to raise the issue (a minor what the fuck)

I encouraged my friend to ask his superior first before moving on to talk to Human Resources. Give the superior an opportunity to right the wrong. After a few weeks of evading my friend’s questions, on top of the four months since the review, the superior finally submitted.

As a result my friend was disappointed. His mood changed. He started to question himself, his professional capability, and his self-worth. He felt angry. He felt cheated on.

“But I did everything he asked me to,” he said, with a mix of sadness and anger.

“Even if you were vegetarian that doesn’t mean you would not be mauled/murdered by a bull,” I coolly replied while wincing.

“Are we doing quotes of the day?”

“Just saying”

He then became unmotivated at work. He did not want to lunch with anyone, and wanted to use his lunch time to lick wounds. He would leave his desk the moment the clock struck 6pm.

Occasionally I check in with him out of concern.

“Still eating by yourself?”

“I need me time,” he texted back.

“Okay. You know what they say. In the company of other people, take care of your tongue. When you are by yourself, take care of your thoughts”

“Are we still doing QOTDs?” he replied with an emoji.

“Just concerned”

I have been working since I was 19. My first supervisor at work was an asshole, and I was too inexperienced then to come out of a bad situation unscathed. I still remember I always wished he would die on the way to work. He is still alive. But the world would not miss him. :p

I just hope with encouragement from his loved ones, my friend would rise above this bad work situation and come out stronger, more professional, and wise.