Stories From My Childhood

I had a terribly long week. I love my job (as you can see on Facebook; it’s all I ever talk about) but sometimes gahhhh.

I am feeling a little nostalgic while I am taking a dump so maybe I will tell you a few stories from my childhood. They’re not too interesting but maybe you would enjoy them.

Pendek Kata

In Malay, pendek kata means ‘in short’ but separately, pendek means short, and kata could mean word or say. There was this advert that went on on the Malay channel with some VJ (video jockey) saying ‘pendek kata bla bla bla’. My Malay was Band 1 (which means it is, I mean was, good) but I was confused and turned to my sister and asked “Who is Pendek??”

Teletubbies Craze

The year I turned 11 there was the teletubbies craze. I wanted a Teletubby, specifically Po, and specifically made by Fisher Price. I cried twice because my mom refused to buy me one, and then my dad refused to buy me one, but then he got me a Yamaha keyboard so I would shut up. I played the keyboard for as long as I could but changing batteries was a bitch. It needed at least 6, IIRC.

Getting a permanent

Not record. Perm as in permed hair. My aunt and mom got together like keratin scientists and permed my hair when I was a toddler:


and my mom did it again when I was 5 or 6.

That is a picture of me and my aunt at my old house. My mom liked me so much when I was this age because of my fake curls and tubby tummy. My mom is insane I am so glad she no longer makes decisions about my hair. Or wardrobe.

Abuse in Primary School

I used to sit beside this fat Chinese boy in Primary 3, and we used to talk a lot during Maths class. One day the teacher, who was my 11th floor neighbour, got sick of our shit, came up to us while I was talking and hit our palms with a longass wooden ruler. I was shocked, then immediately shut up for the rest of the day. I told my mom who told me ok next time don’t talk!

I miss the 90s. You can’t say bad things about, or beat kids these days.

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