I’m bad at introducing myself and I hadn’t blogged in a couple of years so I am really rusty. To make this less awkward for all of us, I will do it in bullet points! I love lists. This is the get-to-know-me post, so I’ll try to keep it short:

  • I started (or am starting) this blog as a way to amuse myself and share with you the things I’m working on (this, at the moment, means ‘nothing’). I like Facebook and all but I need to take a break from social media.
  • I have a cat. His name is Ollie. You all know him. He is three years old. I don’t know how old that is in cat years so I just tell everyone 25. He has been 25 for 2 years now.
  • I am turning 30 in 7 months. I am pretty nervous about it and a large part of it is personal pressure; I just think it’s that age you have to stop making excuses for being a dumbass and I have a lot of anecdotes to confirm my dumbassery.
  • My mother will probably read this so I will try to not talk about sex. Or alcohol. Or alcohol-fueled-sex. Or anything bad about her relatives. Or her helicopter parenting. Maybe I should not tell her I have a blog.
  • I like all kinds of things. Except coleslaw. And dogs. And stories of people eating dogs. Actually I like dogs. I am just scared of them. Not the same way I fear God, but it’s God > Getting old > My mother > lizards > my phone dropping into a drain > dogs. I like reading, Reddit, music, and movies.
  • I hadn’t switched my computer on for the last two months because my Microsoft-everything expired, and then I stuck my tongue out when I realised it was expensive (100+ a year!) and then I had an ah-ha! moment because I work in a school I get stuff free helloooo 
  • My favourite Miley Cyrus song is ‘Adore You’. I attempted to karaoke it in February 2017. I did OK. My favourite Elton John song is ‘Rocket Man’. I still cannot decide my favourite Mariah song.
  • I spend whatever free time I have on Netflix (the ‘chill’ part is needless to say), reading, and watching standup comedy.

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